In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act. - Caroline Caldwell
It's been nearly a month since I've written a post! To make up for it, this is going to be focused on a really important topic: self esteem. This is a very personal topic for me. I have struggled with body image my whole life, and have battled depression rooted deeply in my self loathing. I have been overweight since the day I was born, weighing in at a whopping 10.5 pounds. Growing up in a world surrounded by Victoria's Secret Angels and Forever 21 models, I felt significantly out of place.
I wanted to change myself so badly. In middle school, I hit my lowest point. I counted calories religiously, I printed out pictures of thin girls and kept them under my pillow, and I would spend hours in front of the mirror pointing out every flaw I saw in myself. I was miserable.
And I'm not the only one who has felt this way. Over 90% of girls ages 15 to 17 reportedly want to change at least one thing about their physical appearance, their weight being the number one answer. (Source) This is a serious problem.
We can't change as a society until we change as individuals. You, my reader, have to stop letting industries profit from your self hatred. Companies sell diet pills to lose weight, lotions that kill fat cells, protein shakes that burn calories, waist trainers and so much more. In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act. (Source)
But change can't happen overnight. I hated my body for years, so it has taken me years to learn to embrace it. I still have moments of doubt, when I look in the mirror, squeeze my love handles and begin to fall back into old habits. But I fight that voice in the back of my head, and I love every scar, stretch mark and fat roll on my body.
I can proudly say that I have come a long way, and I only did three things to accomplish this.
Fake it until you make it
On days when I was feeling especially self conscious about a certain part of my body, I would wear outfits that flaunted it. When I hated my thighs, I would wear shorts to school just to show them off. Covering your body and trying to hide your flaws will just make you feel worse about yourself.
Hold your head up high, make eye contact when you talk to people and walk with long strides. Portraying confidence, even if it's fake, will make you feel better about yourself over time. If you walk like a goddess, you'll start to feel like a goddess.
Give out a lot of compliments
Making someone else feel good about themselves will make you feel good about yourself too. Don't be too shy to approach a stranger and tell her you love her hair. Chances are, she felt like she was having a bad hair day and wanted to cover it up with a hat.
Wear what makes you happy
For years I would wear what hid my imperfections, and no eye-catching colors or patterns because the last thing I wanted was attention drawn to my body. This only made me more miserable. Wear what you actually like, not what you think hides something you're self conscious about. Clothes you're happy with and comfortable in will make you look and feel better. People will be too distracted by your smile and confidence to even notice whatever imperfection you were worried about.
None of these outfits would have been a part of my wardrobe last year. I wore one piece swimsuits with baggy t-shirts over them, owned zero dresses and avoided prints like the plague.
But now, I love to show off my body, and wear clothes that I like. I'm not afraid to wear dresses to school, or go to pool parties. I am happy, healthy and very much in love with myself.
